by Laura Sterling
Hunger Hates Me
Two months ago (I kept track, because it started on the 9th of March, a month before prom), I officially stopped eating fully up to par. Now, I can barely stand eating even my most favorite dishes, like my Mom's home-made mashed potatoes and baked chicken (which normally would have been gone in two days, but when she last made it, it survived a week without me touching it once).
I can't stand the thought of eating meat for breakfast.
Heck, I can't stand the thought of eating anything but high-sugar substances for breakfast and lunch, and I've actually been skipping dinner.
I love to eat, with a passion, and this isn't sitting well with me, and it's definitely not sitting well with my parents.
Today, for example, my Dad came home and said "We're going shopping for breakfast foods for you."
Then, as soon as we got to the grocery store, he said "All the things you choose must have some form of meat in it."
I almost threw up right where I stood, just because he wanted me to eat meat for Breakfast. I probably stood staring at the frozen-breakfast isle for 10 minutes and he said "What an ugly face," because I looked completely horrified at all the things he was making me choose for breakfast.
I hate eating breakfast, and the only reason why I eat it is because I have to take a hord of pills every day, with food.
The situation he put me in made my dislike for breakfast just so much stronger.
Then, I told him I didn't want to eat meat for breakfast, and he started saying that I'm the one who's not getting enough protein in my diet (so says my doctor). I complained that there's nothing wrong with wanting to be a vegetarian (because I couldn't think of any other way to label it), and he told me that I can just take care of myself if I won't eat meat.
I like eating meat, but I can't stand eating it as of lately.
I really hate this feeling, and I'm so confused.
I have no idea what the heck is wrong with me, and it scares me. The idea of becoming anorexic scares me, and I just want to go back to eating like I usually could.
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